It's like: neanderthals and me, this american life

last year i wrote a letter to the ambassador of poland, and he never wrote back

By dusty (January 3, 2009)

I used to delete all spam comments, because: fuck you! But I have had a change of heart. I feel like these people are really interested in reading my musings, really interested in my life, and genuinely serious about suggesting ways for me to achieve that giant skyscraper in my pants that I have always wanted. I am being honest here.

Georgina Sanchez told me: “p2tauhodlitnx2nj”. Would it really be fair to Georgina if I were to delete this? She obviously cares more about me than any other shitbag that reads this blog. Whether sentient or not, Georgina cares about me. I mean, she genuinely cares! She also showed this blog to at least one of her friends (the IP address was nearly identical — they must have been sitting in the school library or computer lab), who also commented! Her friend Lesley Guy (who already seems alarmingly transsexual despite my never having met him/her/it(?)) said this: “ezasv8fwmr1lxia4”. I am not sure exactly what language this is, but I can tell you surely which language it is not, and that is the language of apathy. So with that said, I just wanted to give a big thanks to Georgina and Lesley for commenting, to the big man upstairs for letting this all happen, to my casting director and agent, my director, Jared, who trusted in me even without always trusting me, to my publicist Lisa, my family (most of all my mother), my crew, the many production assistants and interns and stagehands for coming in every day and making sure everything worked, to black people for inventing chicken and waffles as a co-entity, to G.I. Joe’s, Legos, Construx, Mini Micros, Hot Wheels and the early 1990s lineups of the Montreal Expos, Cleveland Indians, Seattle Mariners and Atlanta Braves for giving me such wonderful childhood memories. And last but not least, to all of you who pay your internet bills every month, allowing you endless taken-for-granted opportunities and joy that hunter-gatherer tribes in South America, Indonesia, et al will never see.

Thank you.

Comments: (1)

One Response to “last year i wrote a letter to the ambassador of poland, and he never wrote back”

» By gf (January 5, 2009)

hahah! <3

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